Valuable lessons I've learned from babysitting little Borstad.












From the book "Safe Baby Handling Tips"

Creative attention to detail.

"What overprotective moms should get their kids to ensure they never, ever get laid."

A wedding isn't a wedding without a pint-sized dance prodigy.

Some say it's worse than whiskey.

Everyone's getting a fucking zonkey for Christmas this year.

Shoes.

Danny sings (yells) Back Door Man. Sorry, the sound is kind of weird.

I don't really remember, but I'm guessing this was some kind of staged domestic violence.

Cats AND monkeys? Dummy needs a monkey like whoa.

19th-century Japanese mermaids? Scary as shit.

Baien Mouri sketches from 1835:

Using these illustrations as inspiration, some dudes taxidermied themselves a mummy version of these mermaids and toured around while scientists said they were bogus.

Almost as bogus as this:

Because we all know what real mermaids look like.

I am ready to be a part of this kind of trip. Anyone?

I made soap for all my foul-mouthed friends.

Mike: I'll be back in five minutes.
Us: Sweet, we'll pretend like we like this San Diego place and wait for you. Preferably outside a Subway so we feel safe.
(5 minutes later)
Mike: I am getting pulled over and they're taking the car to the impound. It's basically in Mexico. It's gonna be just like Cabo.
Us: So you're going to put those boxes on a skateboard and wrangle us into a 12-hour day of sketchy bondsmen and a retarded scavenger hunt of scary places our dads would never let us go. Right?
Mike: Whatever you want, babes.

What is this pose about?

I like wondering what Rex's inner monologue is like.

Excuse me, sir? Are you lost?