Shut up, I'm starving.

Canada feels far away.

Ya see, Morris? Somebody just 'tagged' you.

The original Microsoft family was adorable, no?

Some babies don't even need toys. Or friends. Or parents. Just a pet snake.

It is such a brilliant idea to manufacture toys that mimic real life. You have to go back to the toy store to purchase diapers and food packets or else your Baby Alive turns into a piece of regular old plastic toy- one that doesn't burp or shit? Fantasy toys suck.

Obviously, this needs to exist.

Why does this even exist?

Lady boners.

Valuable lessons I've learned from babysitting little Borstad.












From the book "Safe Baby Handling Tips"

Creative attention to detail.

"What overprotective moms should get their kids to ensure they never, ever get laid."

A wedding isn't a wedding without a pint-sized dance prodigy.

Some say it's worse than whiskey.

Everyone's getting a fucking zonkey for Christmas this year.