Day One: After dreaming horrible nightmares that I never graduated high school, I awoke around 6:32 in the morning, and thought about how nice a bowl of cereal would sound. Ah, the crunch of those oat clusters cutting the insides of my mouth. (Just kidding, I am really trying to make this as minimal as I can. Thorough.)
The night before we left, Stacey and I celebrated with bar friends at the Meadowlark Holiday party.
So we thought the flight would be kind of like this.
I want to tell my mom that despite her setting a bad example, I actually wore a seat belt this time.
When we arrived, it was nice to know our room was stocked with proper reading material. It made me miss my cat, Dummy.
Just in time for snow.
We stayed warm inside museums but I won't go into too much detail here. Going through the photos, there seems to be a lot of chandelier action going on.
Paris likes to swap spit all over town. At first you try not to stare, but I think it's more geared for the public.
This was kind of a bummer but you know, c'est la vie?
This poster covered every stop on the Metro, so we got pretty fed up with Alec Baldwin's post-coital facial.
Here's some photos of Stacey practicing sobriety and honing her maternal instincts.
Walking up towards Sacre Coeur, there was a pile of burned denim jeans. I imagine somebody got really cold and they were like, "Fuck you Jeans! You don't keep me warm anymore. Ashes to ashes!"
Our buddy Ben's band played at the Divan du Monde. Both he and his brother Berys are obsessed with Iron Maiden.
There were these awesome shrines in the venue.
This is us enjoying Tour de'Eiffel. Or wait a minute...this is just me drinking wine and taking yet another picture of a chandelier.
I'll try and splash in some architecture from time to time.
At last! Here we are finally enjoying the Eiffel Tower.
On my birthday, I had this feeling that I might get a little homesick after I could not figure out how to make a phone call.
To prevent any sadness, I asked myself, "What is home, but bowling, bourbon, and scratch tickets?" So I proceeded to enjoy my favorite vices. It was a great birthday.
I had a lot of these deliciously red drinks. Life was good for Stacie and Maggy.
And then I got pregnant.
Afterwards, I don't remember where Stacey went but I made friends with this guy.
We asked every person in Paris where to find a pool table. They were not amused, but we made it happen somehow.
After my birthday, I woke up with a head cold of frozen snot and we tracked down Breakfast in America. Closed!? (On my birthday, we tried to see Pere Le Chaise and visit the tombstones, but it was closed. This was a recurring theme. We did visit the cemetary, but we only took film.)
Thanks to our fine map, we found another one that was not closed.
This stylish scarf is the free blanket from Delta Airlines.
On the eve of Jesus' birthday, we were invited to the French country by our friend Ben and had a glorious time.
Beautiful house filled with amazing things left and right. We ate a three-course meal of duck, more duck, and a sweet iceberg for dessert.
In between courses, there was a table vacuum to wipe away crumbs. That's pretty fancy.
Pats of butter were served in these! And Mr. Conan dug around in his liquor cabinet and found an aged bottle of Southern Comfort.
Christmas night, we spent with Phillipa Duck and her friends. We played charades and other fun games. That contraption in my face is not what you think it is, but simply a personal humidifier to relieve my head cold.
Notre Dame, and the view from the roof.
And last but not least, Stacey is a very talented jumper. Mine looks like an awkward purse ad. And yes, we finally made it to the Eiffel Tower. Success!
Thank you. More to come.